It’s Friday (the 13th) again!
And while we’re all horrified by the lack of cup sleeves at the local Starbucks because of import restrictions, at least your friendly (and not-so-friendly) emails put a smile on my face.
Let’s take a look at this week’s submissions, shall we?
- “Friday wasn’t just a guy in Robinson Crusoe.” – Steven L.
- “Facepalm Fridays!” – Agustín C.
- “Your weekly dose of basic, dumbed down knowledge is here!” – Kate A.
- And a special mention for Gaspar C., whose submission didn’t really qualify as an opener because it’s an image, but made me laugh out loud when he closed his message with: “Kiss my ass if you don’t like it.”
Alright, no more fucking around. This is what you need to know:
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were supposed to turn it off minutes ago. Just saying.
- Great news, people addicted to prostitution! A City court has decided that having a Zona Roja (Red Zone) in the Bosques de Palermo area is absolutely legal. Defined by some as “a mined field of used condoms,” the Zona Roja is a place for the whole family. During the day, the children get to run around the park while mommy spreads a blanket on the grass. During the night, daddy shows up and spreads the legs of a prostitute while he smokes some grass. So remember that next time you head over to El Rosedal to work on your abs. That thing stuck on your hair may not be a balloon.
- Remember a couple of weeks ago when a guy killed himself in Plaza Francia, right in front of the children? Well, this week another guy with suicidal tendencies decided it would be a good idea to cut his veins in Plaza de Mayo. The good news is the police persuaded him not to do it, much to the chagrin of the bystanders who were totally hoping for the blood to start splattering their faces, as you can see in this video. So, wanna bet which is going to be the next plaza ruined by a weapon-wielding maniac? My money is on Parque Las Heras. There’s just so much happiness in that place, it’s disgusting.
- If you’re still shaking your torches and pitchforks in the air over the price of Yerba Mate, then I have some good news for you. The President has warned that if producers don’t lower the price of the much-coveted product, she will have no choice but to enact the Supply Law, a law passed in 1973 that establishes that producers who speculate with essential goods could be fined or even arrested. Like I said last week, I don’t like mate so I really don’t care if you’re going through yerba mate withdrawal. But good news for you, I suppose.
- A premature baby in Chaco made the news around the world this week when, 12 hours after being declared stillborn, she was found alive in the morgue by her mother. It is still unclear how five different doctors who checked the baby failed to notice she was breathing, but fortunately they have all been suspended and there is an ongoing investigation. Since yesterday, according to the local media, the “miracle baby” is not doing so good. So fingers crossed for you, little girl.
- This week, in “the football”: Diego Maradona (who else) said Pelé was “stupid” because he said Neymar (I don’t know who that is) is a better football player than Lionel Messi (I do know who that is but don’t hold it against me). And yes, that is all I have to say about football this week. If you are looking for information on matches, and tournaments, and stuff you’ve come to the wrong place, my friend.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Send Adrian your comments, thoughts or tips at adrianbono@hotmail.com or follow him on Twitter at @AdrianBono
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